Secondary infertility (the background)

There have been some people in the recent past who have asked me when we are going to have another baby and there have been others who know what is going on who are afraid to ask me anything, so I decided that I am going to take the time to write down what is going on with us so people won't have to wonder anymore. Sorry if there is too much information in some areas and that it is so long.

As a lot of people know when we tried to get pregnant with Arwen and then (a short time later) with Jackson, each try only took us a couple months. So almost two years ago (in November) we decided to start trying for our third baby thinking this one too would only take a couple months. We were very disappointed when things did not go as we expected and planned.

We had been trying on our own for about seven months when I decided to call my doctor because I knew something was not right with my body. He was very nice and did a quite a few tests and found nothing out of the ordinary. He was pretty sure I was not ovulating on my own (since my periods were really far apart and irregular) so he started me on femara (a drug to induce ovulation). We also did some trigger injections so we would know exactly when I was going to ovulate. I did the femara for seven months with no pregnancy.

After the seven months my doctor then referred me to a fertility specialist. The specialist ran some more tests and could find nothing wrong. He then put me on clomid (another ovulation inducing drug) and it took about four months for me to have more than one follicle (this is what holds the egg) so that we could try insemination (cost us about 1500 for one month). We had been praying and fasting that it would work, but unfortunately it did not. It was a huge disappointment because we had spent all that money and everything seemed to be working properly in my body. After that expensive round and with all the extra hormones constantly in my body, we decided that I could not do this anymore at this time. It was too stressful for me.

We have been watching for ovulation on our own and we are pretty sure that I have been ovulating (really late) on my own the last two months, but I again started my period on day 45 this month. My body tends to play tricks on me and gives me signs of pregnancy so that I start to think that maybe I am and then wah-lah my period starts again.

It has been such a long, difficult trial for me. I think about it constantly and every month I am reminded that I am not pregnant. There have been some really good months (and/or days) where I am content and happy and there have been some really hard ones where I cry myself to sleep or I break down in the middle of the day.